literature

Jammed Guns + Roses

Deviation Actions

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Published:
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Literature Text

Pagan dancing circles
& the ultraviolence
perspirating the air
sifts chalk into
the crack between us.

You left the city’s crazy
& returned hungry—
spreading the white wood’s
black days
w/ my infection of rage.

You laid me down
in fake diamonds
& lying pearls—
your old vices
stripping me into a
violent field
of bone houses.

I can hear the bruises
& the cut above your
eyebrow speaking—
my goosebumps
punching you thru
& the song battery sings
ends & begins in
minor chords.

There is a choir
of me
vibrating in symbolistic
blurs in each of your
eyelashes—
each of us spanning
wider than Columbus’
bus of misfitted lips
& our opacity varies
w/ every tear you fall.

My teeth are rakes
w/ sharpened spikes
to paint portraits
on your chest—
stippling in my sainted
image.

The cherry colored midnight
I stuff you with
leaks out & fishes for
the affection of your
mistress birds—
too busy pouring honey
in the door carved
into your side.

I’m a pretty-bad girl
& all your done decisions
feed the metal string—
moving to etch & poke
the eden rib bone
cautious to the wind.

Remember the greatest
hits hurt deeper
than sensibility—

I’m sad in the city
w/ a bottle of
shifting bourbon
soaking me thru,

swimming in a bathtub
of black branches
& electrocuted loss.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CRITIQUE THIS

this is one of the first poems
i've written in a long time
that isn't personal.

i was listening to Lana Del Rey's
new album Ultraviolence
& it spoke to me in the worst way.

i'm not sure if i accomplished
what i was going for here--
if the theme and plot came across.

the idea is that the man left
the girl in the city who he'd been treating bad
& thought, in the woods, that she was torturing him
because of it but it was
in his imagination the entire time.

please help.
© 2014 - 2024 schriftsteller
Comments3
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introverted-ghost's avatar
I'll help! :nuu:

Change nothing. Hah, how helpful is that? :P
But seriously. I love this. Except maybe the capitals. I don't really like those. I'm not sure why, though. They just feel...formal.